So my pdoc decided I have ADHD. My counselor has mentioned it several times before, but since some of its symptoms are also symptoms of BP, I disagreed. In a way it’s a huge relief, because it explains SO much. Why I fidget constantly. Often lose the thread of a conversation, written or spoken. Get lost in spite of clear directions. Have trouble following through/listening/keeping promises/finishing projects/staying organized/managing time/focusing when reading/remembering/controlling my emotions/filtering my thoughts before they leave my mouth. It’s not just me being a thoughtless immature person, which is certainly empowering to know.
I began taking Ritalin yesterday, and am prayerfully beginning to figure out what I’m responsible for, and what’s God’s job. Because I don’t want to blame my poor choices on ADHD but instead set up constructive tools from the very beginning, and hopefully avoid the mistakes I made in the past. To that end, I found a book called “Fast Minds: How to Thrive if You Have ADHD,” and although it’s not a “Christian” book, the strategies and suggestions are certainly adaptable. In fact, as I’ve been reading it, I can hear God’s voice nudging me this way or that, reminding me that self-condemnation is useless and that positive change begins, and is accomplished through, Him and Him alone.